were_lemur: (Willow/Tara talk nerdy to me)
Over and over again, the subject gets raised: why is there so much more m/m fanfic than there is f/f? And over and over again, the specter of women's own self-loathing is raised, as well as the theory that we have bought into male supremacy, that we find men's stories more compelling because society tells us that they are the important stories.

While I don't doubt that those are answers for some people, they always seemed to fall short as an explanation of why I personally wrote so much more m/m fic.

This weekend, at LosCon, (a Los Angeles area science fiction convention) I picked up a book called Queers Dig Time Lords, which is obviously relevant to my interests. One of the essays, Amal El-Mohtar's "Sub Texts: The Doctor and The Master's Firsts and Lasts" proved enlightening for reasons completely above and beyond any insights about my One True Whovian Pairing.

In comparing Davies and Moffat's tenures as showrunner, and their portrayals of male/male verses female/female sexuality, El-Mohtar writes:

"Post-Jack-Harkness, there is a remarkable reluctance to show men flirting or being intimate with other men, even while they are in an established, explicitly marked romantic relationship -- a reluctance that does not extend to women performing sexual desire for other women. much as i delight in seeing the latter, if makes me uncomfortable to see women repeatedly sexualized when men are not; my Male Gaze sense starts tingling, and I find myself facing the same kinds of proscription I felt as a teen."

That paragraph hit me with an almost-physical sensation. Sitting there in the restaurant down the street from the con, I read that paragraph over three or four times, absorbing it. Because it spoke to me on a deep level.

As a young queer woman, my first experiences of seeing myself in the media were through the straight male gaze. "Hot girl-on-girl action," specifically marketed to straight dudes. And though I sought out media by queer women for queer women as soon as I could, growing up in a culture that views female sexuality as primarily or even exclusively for the titillation of men has, perhaps inevitably, left its mark on my psyche.

It's harder to imagine a place further from the male gaze than the almost-exclusively-female world of fanfiction. But while I may intellectually know that, I still have a lifetime of experience with media, which has sunk its roots deep into my subconscious. It's hard to untangle my own female sexuality from the straight male gaze, even when I know that gaze is not present.
were_lemur: (Default)
Nancy Drew, Nancy/George, all ages, not mine. Sometimes even a famous girl detective doesn't see what's right in front of her.

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were_lemur: Aragorn and Boromir sharing a meaningful look (im in ur fandum queering ur dudez)
Trigger Warnings: underage/age gap. Twilight, Bella/Alice, teen and up, not mine. Bella is sick of waiting for Edward. Alice proposes a solution. CRACK!

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were_lemur: (Willow/Tara talk nerdy to me)
Late post; I was internet-challenged last night. Doctor Who, female!Doctor/female!Master, all ages, not mine. A Doctor walks into a bar, and meets a very different Master.

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were_lemur: (Willow/Tara talk nerdy to me)
D.E.B.S., Amy Bradshaw/Lucy Diamond, teen and up, not mine. What it says on the tin; fluff.

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were_lemur: (Default)
Batman, Harley/Ivy + Joker, teen and up, not mine. Ivy is done watching the Joker abuse Harley.

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were_lemur: Willow and Tara sharing a moment (talk nerdy to me)
Leverage, Parker/Sophie, explicit, not mine. What Parker loves about Sophie.

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were_lemur: (scc change history)
There's too much serious on LJ for me. I can't do anything about that, but I can balance it out in my own journal. And what could be less serious than a half-dozen of the crackiest SCC AUs I could think of? Because let's face it, it doesn't get much crackier than Cameron-the-big-scary-robot as a Regency Miss or a wannabe fashion model.

The following does not belong to me, and should not be taken seriously. Obviously.

Regency: )

High School: )

Genderswap/Military: )

Pirate: )

High Fashion: )

Roman/Slavefic: )
were_lemur: (Mara Lives!)
This fic is rated: PG (will probably end up higher)
Fandom: Star Wars
Characters/Pairing: Mara/dream girl
Timeline: pre-ANH (AU)
Summary: Mara has a strange dream.
For [livejournal.com profile] story_arc's' 10 set 1 prompt #1: fog
Word Count: 372
Feedback: yes, please! Concrit welcomed.
Distribution: archiving, linking or remixing ok, just credit me and drop me a line!
Cross-Posted [livejournal.com profile] were_lemur, [livejournal.com profile] skywalker_days, [livejournal.com profile] story_arc, [livejournal.com profile] starwars_saffic, [livejournal.com profile] marafics
My FanFic Masterlist
Disclaimer: George Lucas owns Star Wars. I own a 22-year-old pickup truck. I hope that Mr. Lucas will accept this story as the tribute to his genius it is, and not sue me for what little I have. No infringement is intended, no profit is being made.

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were_lemur: (Haz No Iconz)
This fic is rated: G
Fandom: Lilo and Stitch (futurefic)
Characters/Pairing: Myrtle(Lilo)
Summary: Myrtle finds Lilo's voice annoying ... doesn't she?
For [livejournal.com profile] femslash100's Prompt #159: voice
Inspiration: [livejournal.com profile] _beetle_ and [livejournal.com profile] escritoireazul's Lilo/Myrtle fics
Word Count: 100
Feedback: yes, please! Concrit welcomed.
Distribution: archiving, linking or remixing ok, just credit me and drop me a line!
Cross-Posted [livejournal.com profile] were_lemur, [livejournal.com profile] femslash100
My FanFic Masterlist
Disclaimer: Lilo and Stitch belongs to Disney. Characters will be played with nicely and returned to them in good condition when I'm done. No infringement is intended, please don't sue me!

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were_lemur: (scc change history)
This fic is rated: PG-13 for implications
Fandom: Terminator: Sarah Connor Chronicles
Characters/Pairing: Sarah/Cameron
Summary: Cameron won't shut up.
For the [livejournal.com profile] d_or_c drabble-a-thon's prompt Sarah/Cameron, death
Warnings: lotsa implied girlsexings
Word Count: 100
Feedback: yes, please! Concrit welcomed.
Distribution: archiving, linking or remixing ok, just credit me and drop me a line!
Cross-Posted [livejournal.com profile] were_lemur, [livejournal.com profile] sarahcameron, [livejournal.com profile] d_or_c
My FanFic Masterlist
Disclaimer: Terminator: Sarah Connor Chronicles is distinctly and emphatically NOT MINE. This FanFic is an act of love, not profit.

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were_lemur: (starwars_saffic)
This fic is rated: PG
Fandom: Star Wars
Characters/Pairing: Dormé/Padmé (unrequited)
Timeline: just before RotS
Summary: a quiet act of devotion
For [livejournal.com profile] slashthedrabble's prompt 167: Eagles song titles (Help Me Make it Through The Night)
Word Count: 100
Feedback: yes, please! Concrit welcomed.
Distribution: archiving, linking or remixing ok, just credit me and drop me a line!
Cross-Posted [livejournal.com profile] were_lemur, [livejournal.com profile] skywalker_days, [livejournal.com profile] starwars_saffic, [livejournal.com profile] slashthedrabble
My FanFic Masterlist
Disclaimer: George Lucas owns Star Wars. I own a 22-year-old pickup truck. I hope that Mr. Lucas will accept this story as the tribute to his genius it is, and not sue me for what little I have. No infringement is intended, no profit is being made.

Read more... )

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